I watched the Miss America Pageant last night and I simply can not comprehend how anyone could possibly pick a winner from a group of winners. Every contestant was poised, talented, intelligent, articulate, confident, and stunningly beautiful.

I certainly don't mean to be critical, but I noticed that -- even though she answered almost every question correctly -- Miss New York missed one question about U.S. government. As an American, I feel that it is my patriotic duty to offer my services to Miss New York. I have many books. I've even read some of them. I feel that it was an unfair question and that this is probably not necessary, but I am ready and willing to immediately offer my personal tutoring services. In fact, I'd like to go on record offering my personal services to any or all of last nights contestants.

My wife says that she and I want to make it perfectly clear that I have nothing but pure intentions. She also says that I am deliriously happy in my marriage and I agree.

It really is true. Since the day I met my future bride, I've been telling people that I'm a better person because of Kimberly. I feel better when she's near me. I've often used the phrase, "it's like she's a part of me that was missing." That's why I took special notice when I read something Benjamin Franklin said:

"It is the Man and Woman united that makes the complete Being. Separate she wants his force of Body and Strength of Reason; he her Softness, Sensibility and acute Discernment. Together they are most likely to succeed in the World. A single Man has not nearly the Value he would have in that State of Union. He is an incomplete Animal. He resembles the odd Half of a Pair of Scissors."

The Book of Genesis says that God created Man in his own image. Then God took a rib from Adam and created Eve. Adam said, "This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man."

Note that it says Woman was taken out of Man. When you take something out, that means it's no longer there. So, is it possible that Man was then something less than what God had originally created in his own image? Wasn't Man now missing the part taken to make Woman?

I'm no preacher and I'm no prophet. I'm not a teacher. I'm a student. I'm just a redneck with typing skills, but I believe that what God created in his own image, was then split into two parts: Man and Woman. I know that I am more now than when I was single. My wife and I are not without sin and we're certainly not perfect, but together, we are more like God than either of us is when apart. My wife frowns at my anger and encourages my strength. I am aggravated by her nature, but I love her beauty.

Some people say that America is decadent; its women paint their faces and expose their bodies. It's true that Jimmy Carter and I have both lusted in our hearts, but I don't believe that either of us are evil. We have both asked to be forgiven. God surrounded us with beauty; surely He meant for us to enjoy it. As Alice Walker's profound character said, "I think it makes God mad if you don't notice the color purple."

Even if you do not believe in God, you must know there is a physical law of nature which requires beauty to be admired. I can see that my mother, my sister, my daughters, and my granddaughter are all exquisitely beautiful, but I don't lust for them. I just think it's fun to look at them.

It was common in my grandparent's day for men to attend church in search of a proper mate. My mother and my sister dragged my father and I to church. My wife and my daughters helped me to see the beauty of God's creation. It has certainly been my experience that the most common way a man comes to see the light, is through a relationship with a good woman.

I sincerely don't mean to blaspheme and I'm not even suggesting that this is true, but just imagine how different things might have been, if rather than two sons, Adam and Eve had conceived a son and a daughter. Perhaps Cain would not have turned to murder if he had been blessed with a gentler sibling. Perhaps then the crime would have been too cruel to commit.